Funny Signs - Bad English

1 ) SPECIAL TODAY NO ICE CREAM
2 ) SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS
3 ) MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE
4 ) WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS
5 ) OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS TOO
6 ) OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR
7 ) TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS
8 ) FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE; WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS EFFICIENT SELF SERVICE
9 ) GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE
10 ) WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
11 ) WHILE SOLUTION IS NOT TOXIC IT WILL NOT MAKE CHILD EDIBLE
12 ) IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT
13 ) THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE
14 ) THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT; CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE
15 ) CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
16 ) LADIES LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
17 ) IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF
18 ) GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED
19 ) PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY
20 ) THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE